2 Months & My New Food Addiction

Another Bandiversary! 2 whole months!! I can't believe it! Well, unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, I gained 1 pound this week; however, in 2 months I am down 33lbs and I'm pretty happy about that!  So, yes, my 1 pound gain this week did not come as a shock or surprise to me.  Well, good ole Aunt Flo came to town this week (lol) so you know how bad those cravings are during this time of the month.  This week has been the hardest yet!  

I know I'm not supposed to have sweets like cake, cookies, doughnuts, etc, so I haven't.  What I have been having are these damn 90-calorie FiberOne brownies and bars.  Honestly, they've become my new crutch and addiction!  I mean, come on.. have you seen then? Chocolate brownies, peanut butter chocolate chip brownies, chocolate chip cookie brownies, and their chocolate caramel pretzel bars?! For real, my mouth is watering!  I saw we had a few left in the kitchen, so I figured why not try it to see if it will get stuck or not. All clear- it didn't get stuck!  So, I figured why not eat some b/c it will keep my bowel movements regular (sorry, TMI).  Well, night after night, the amount of brownies that I took up to my room to eat because larger and larger until I found myself waking up at 3am eating 5 of them in bed with crumbs all over me.  Yes, insert typical fat girl image here.  It was a total mindless eating and I

felt myself falling back into my old habits.  What am I doing to myself? Was this what I got LapBand for... just to go back to my old ways? I knew I had to get a grip.  But FiberOne brownies don't really count.. you poop them out!  I tried so hard to get rid of them and found my addiction getting stronger and stronger to them.  So, the other night I came home and decided it was my last hoorah and I was going to eat the FiberOne supply so it would be gone.  Nope, I tried and was ready to vomit after about 7 brownies, lol.  I decided that I can't keep making excuses for eating these anymore and eating them until they were gone was just plain dumb!  I decided to 'hide' the boxes (Costco-size boxes, btw) in my basement (I'm petrified of basements so that's a safe place to hide things from me).  So, today, I managed to keep my calories under 600 (and I burned some while exercising) rather than my 1000+ when I was eating those brownies! I'm proud of myself for regaining control! That could have been a catastrophe and I saw it slowly happening.  I was almost at the point of no return but the new me overpowered the old me! :) 
I'm hoping I can pass the 35lb mark next week! I can't wait to hit 40 so I can say I'm only 10lbs away from my first mini-goal.  The lesson I learned... just do what you know is right... don't make excuses for eating something you know you shouldn't be.  The scale doesn't make excuses when you step on it! I'm a foodaholic.. I have a serious problem and I know that I will face things like this for the rest of my life.  It's scary but it's all about learning to regain that control.