4 Month Post-Op Update

3/10 vs 7/20

I haven't really updated a lot recently.. I think my instagram has become more of my blog these days to be honest.  It's so quick and easy to post a picture with a caption that truly captures the moment.  

Any who, I'm a little over 4 months out and down 51 pounds since surgery and 61 including the 10 pounds I lost the week or two before surgery.   I feel GREAT!! I wish I had this surgery sooner!   I took pictures yesterday and couldn't believe the comparison!!  Like my Mom keeps telling me, it's as if a vacuum came and literally sucked the weight out of me and I just started shrinking! Things with my weight loss seem to really have fallen into place when I had this surgery.  It's just SO much easier than it was with my lapband!  No more throwing up..

3/10 vs 7/20

no more getting stuck... no more worrying about whether the food will go down or not.  I feel like I'm back to my normal insides again (as silly as that sounds).  And full? Wow.. a word I never knew the meaning of with my lapband; with my sleeve full is something I know all to well!  It really just tells you when  you've had enough!  It's amazing.. no guessing games, no waiting for food to move.. you're just full!

 I love that I can now put on clothes without feeling that dreaded worry of how it will look on me.  I love that I can put on clothes and not feel that absolutely annoying feeling of being squished in my clothes- ESPECIALLY when I sit down! So, I bought this dress for my vacation next month to the Bahamas.  I bought it online without trying it on.  I bought this style because I knew it was the best style for my pear shaped body.   My fear was the design- stripes along the widest part of my body- it could go one of two ways.  It will either look good or it will look bad.  Well, sure enough I bought the dress and it looked good! My Mom, who is always very honest with me, was jaw-dropped because it looked good on me!  So, below it a picture of how it looked when I first got it on 7/14/15.  I'm hoping to be down 10 more pounds by the time I wear it in the Bahamas next month.  I do have to say, when I saw these pictures, even I was jaw-dropped that I was able to pull it off!

7/14/15

Accountability

Well, this weekend was my boyfriends niece's 2nd birthday party up near Albany, NY.  We went from Friday to Sunday.  Friday I can't even explain the hunger I had.. so I decided to buy some Cheez-Its.  Game over.  I ate them on Friday, then on Saturday at the party I did good- skipped the cake, ate fruit instead but did have some chips.  Then we went back to their house and I tasted the damn cake and then continued to eat tons of the Cheez-Its.  Then Sunday I started out strong by just eating eggs.. then caved and ate more Cheez-Its and corn nuts! Luckily today was a new day and I ate all of the right things anddddd even did my first hike of the season! It feels better "airing my dirty laundry" because it makes me accountable.  Hopefully the scale goes down by Wednesday (my weigh in day).

It's happening!

Well.. 9 weeks post-op today and I'm down 33 pounds! I am so happy that I'm finally at this point.  Comparing this to my lapband.. it's like there is no comparison! With my lapband I NEVER felt full.. I didn't even remember what that felt like.  Now with my sleeve I know all too well what full feels like!  I LOVE IT!  My friend who has the sleeve told me that it just takes the thinking out.. I don't know if anything else describes it more accurately. 

The other day I walked past a mirror on Walmart and out of the corner of my eye saw myself walking.  I literally, for the first time ever, had to walk back to see myself because I couldn't believe how thin I looked!!  I haven't had the chance to take my updated official pictures but yesterday I took a quick side-by-side. 

3/10/15 @ 295        vs.       5/12/15 @ 262

I'll Forever Resent Liquids

ilostwhat.com

It's been 2 weeks since my surgery and I'm upset I only lost 1 pound this week.  I can't complain too much because I am down a total of 16lbs in 2 weeks; but I can't help but compare this to my lapband surgery.  Hopefully the scale catches up to me next week.

Anyway, I am on day 15 of no food... I can't stand liquids anymore.  I feel like I'm drowning my body and emotions with protein shakes, egg drop soup, and Crystal Light... UGH!!! All I want is some food so I can start feeling restriction... I swear I won't feel any restriction but everyone keeps telling me I'm crazy because 80% of my stomach is gone! lol  I can't help but compare every single aspect of this journey with my lapband journey.  My mom keeps telling me not to think that way (which is shocking to me since my Mom still hates that I had this surgery).  She keeps telling me that I will be successful with this and that that lapband was just wrong for me.  I know shes right but it's hard to feel that way until I see it.  Hopefully soon!!

OMG, in the middle of this, I was just notified on Instagram that I won this weeks Premier Protein Premier Smiles contest!!!! WOOT WOOT!! I never win anything!! So pumped!!

Maybe this is a good sign of what's to come!

Are You Sure You're Hungry?

Source: http://www.mariefrance.com.ph/emotional-eating-and-weight-loss/

Today marks one week on Phase 1 (Liquid Diet).  I can't say it's been easy... it really plays mind tricks on you.  I constantly feel hungry which scares me because why am I hungry when I just had around 85% of my stomach removed?!  I have a difficult time being around food still... sometimes more than others.  It hurts me to smell cooking food.. in fact, that's EXTREMELY difficult.  My mom has been very considerate and hasn't cooked while I've been home- it's helped a lot.  But I don't know why it's so hard.  My stomach doesn't growl but I'm hungry... or am I?  Am I really hungry or am I bored? Am I really hungry or am I just craving something?  Do I even know what physical hunger is?It started to make me dig deeper into emotional vs. physical hunger. 

I did some research and found a website document that really helped "dumb-down" the comparison of emotional and physical hunger for me.  The fact that is was just a chart really helped me visualize it much more.  Being overweight my entire life, I don't know if I've ever given physical hunger a fair chance.  Now that I've been through two bariatric surgeries, I want to make sure that I am fully tackling the mental/emotional aspect of my food addiction.  I will NOT let myself fail this time around.  I struggled a lot with my lapband both emotionally and physically; I am hopeful that with the physical part being gone now I will be able to strengthen the emotional side.  

Food for thought, I guess...