Conversion Day and Recovery

My alarm went off at 5:10am on March 11th, 2015 and I can't lie and say I wasn't just as scared as I was excited.  I showered, shaved, and did my hair before leaving for the hospital with my Mother around 6:40 that morning.  After walking into an almost empty waiting room and checking in, I was asked to go into the pre-surgery "hangout" room without my Mom so I could change into my gown, get final blood work, and answer tons of medical questions from the nurse.  My surgeon also came in to see me, which always makes me calm down.  My room was directly across from the Nurses Station so I was able to see on the screen what stage of the surgery the previous patient was and when I'd go in.  I watched that like a hawk.   My Mom came in after and we had time to talk.  She was very upset that I was having this surgery, which I understand as I was in a weird was as well, but I wasn't turning back.  Just as she and I started really talking more, and I started expressing my concerns to her, another Nurse came in and told me it was show time... My nerves went through the roof!  I went the bathroom and then we walked (Mom, too!) back to the pre-op room.

Once I was in the pre-op room, another nurse asked me a million questions again and then I met with the anesthesiologist.  He was nice and made some jokes so that helped!  His assistant was a total clown and calmed my nerves big time!  I warned them about my bad veins so I had the anesthesiologist on my left arm and his assistant on my right arm book looking for veins.  When the anesthesiologist found a possible vein on my left arm, his assistant came over to hold it tight for him and then, BAM, they could a vein!! :)  I was SO relieved... it's taken people an hour to find a vein on me before!  Then they told me about something called a TAP Block they were going to give me.  But before they did that, they were going to give me the infamous pre-surgery "cocktail".  I've never had it before, but I've seen my Mom on it and it made her so carefree and hysterical!  I wasn't opposed to it.  After the cocktail, they gave me the TAP Block.  Basically, a TAP Block (Transversus Abdominal Plane Block) consists of two small injections, one on each side of my stomach, and helps numb a block area of my abdominal region (hence the name TAP Block).  Anyway, a few minutes later I started talking to my Mom and crying to her about how scared I was and that I really felt bad that I had to go through this.  It's weird because I also feel like my Mom had a "Freak" of a child (aka me) in the sense that I can't lose and maintain a normal weight without going to such a drastic measure of cutting 80% of my stomach out.  I feel as if I've failed her... Okay, back to surgery day- After she and I were talking, they came and wheeled me to the Operating Room.  After waving to my Mom until I couldn't see her anymore, I made my way into that cold, bright, white Operating Room.  They had my slide over to the Operating Table and I remember looking around for my Doctor.  When I had my Lapband surgery, one of my last images was seeing my Doctor standing in the corner of the room watching what the nurses were doing.  This time, he was no where in sight.  After sliding to the Operating Table one of the nurses kept asking me if I felt like I was in the middle of the table- I assured her I was.  Then I saw my anesthesiologist standing above me to my left and he put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and told me to just take some deep breaths because it was oxygen.  It was a little difficult but I did it.  Then he said, "Okay, Jennifer, I'm going to give you some Propofol now.  So say good night!"  Another Nurse (the one that helped me on to the Operating table) yelled "goodnight" to me.  I said "good night" and then panicked that I'd suffocate in the oxygen mask and quickly asked the anesthesiologist if he was going to take the mask off and he said yes.  The next thing I remember was hearing Nurses saying my name to wake me up.  They asked me if I could slide myself over and I said no and then it clicked.. surgery was done.. the LapBand is out.. my stomach is out.. they cut me open.. holy crap I'm in pain! I then just started hysterically crying and touching my stomach yelling to the nurses, "It hurts! It hurts!"  One of the nurses said to me, "it's okay, Jennifer, everyone wakes up differently.  We will get you something for your pain shortly".  Then I was wheeled to the recovery room where I blurry-saw (aka I still wasn't fully awake and able to focus) so many nurses running around me, hooking me up to to machines, exchanging information about me, etc. It was crazy and chaotic, but I knew I was in good hands.  I'm not sure if I fell asleep in between, but a nurse came over to me and asked me how I was feeling.  She asked me if I had anyone in the waiting room and I told her my Mom was there.  She asked me if I wanted to rest or see her and I started crying and said, "I want my Mommy."   Next thing I knew, I had my Mom next to me.. boy what a comfort that was!  After she stayed and left, I fell back to sleep.  I woke up to the sound of my Mom walking back into the Recovery Room.. my Mom had foot surgery so she has a surgical boot on her foot.  Well, when I hear that, it woke up me and sure enough there was my Mom and my boyfriend :)  We all hung out for like 5 minutes before I was told I was being wheeled up to my room.  My mom and Brian (boyfriend) met me in Room 401.

Once I got into my room, the gas pains were through the roof.  I met my nurse, Trish, who helped me settle in.  That first day I just remember crying endlessly about the pain.  I didn't remember this much pain with my LapBand.  My boyfriend surprised me a beautiful bouquet of flowers which had my favorite flower (hydrangea) in it.  When my sister came (hi, Stephanie.. I know you're reading this, jig) she surprised me with my ultimate favorite... BALLOONS!! :)   My dad was supposed to come see me, but I felt SO badly that I had my sister call to cancel him coming up.  I felt bad about that but I was in even worse condition that I was not up for anyone else to come see me...  

Later that evening I met my night nurse, George.  At first I was a little weirded out having a male nurse, but he was actually much better than Trish! He was so sweet.. in the middle of the night he would come in and said in the softest, most gentle voice, "hi" as he gave me medicine.  Let me also say that I had the roommate from hell, Wendy!  She was up all night talking on the phone and listening to her salsa music loud on her phone.  I called a nurse in to tell her to shut the hell up! lol  At 5:30 the next morning he came in and told me that I haven't gone to the bathroom since 8:00PM and I haven't walked since then either.. he told me in the nicest way that I need to do both.  So, I listened, lol.  After Wendy left (YAY!!!!!) I finally was discharged at 12:00.

That in a nutshell was my surgery day story.

Since then, I've been making progress.  The two days home were painful.. the gas was the worst I've ever experiences.  I've also been very hungry.. maybe physical hunger but probably head hunger.. I have no clue but I am craving a grilled chicken caesar salad BIG TIME!  What a weird craving, right?! I mean, I'm totally craving anything not sweet.. fries, egg salad, tuna, etc, but a grilled chicken caesar salad has me drooling!  I think it's because I couldn't eat grilled chicken for 2 years with my lapband and now I can hopefully!  YUM!!  It's been SO difficult staying with my liquids.. I really don't know if I'm going to last the full 2 weeks..

In other news, my Aunt Eleanor passed away this Sunday.  It has been so difficult on my entire family... I'm so heartbroken with her passing but I know she is in a better place now.  She lived 94 beautiful years here on Earth and now she is one of my forever angels... Xo