Yes, I Can Do This!

Today marked 5 weeks post-op and I still am in shock that I got banded! I will say that probably every post for a while.. just sayin!  Anyway, after gaining a pound last week, and being very sensitive and emotional about the whole ordeal, this week was very generous to me! I lost 5 pounds and I am so excited!! HOLY MOLY!!!! I just realized that I'm 2 pounds away from hitting 30 pounds!! WOW!!!!! This IS really happening!! I am losing weight! AHHHH!!!  It's such a crazy feeling! I can't believe I lost this much weight without feeling like I was trying that hard!  I mean, I understand that the band does, right? It helps curb your appetite...  It's all so weird, interesting, and exciting!! I learn something everyday about the band.  Sometimes I feel like I need a fill (I was originally filled with 3cc's in a 10cc band the day of surgery).  It's hard to distinguish between head hunger and physical hunger though.  What is also convincing me that I need a fill is that I don't feel any restriction when I'm eating.  I really just stop eating because I finished my portion.  I go back to the doctor in 2 weeks and now that I'm on solid food I guess it will help me decide whether or not I really need one.  I guess if anything, I can get a small fill and see how it goes.  I just would like a bit more restriction when I'm eating in order to ensure satiety for 3-4 hours. 

In other news, last Friday I did something HUGE!! While on the treadmill, I attempted to jog at a 3.0 for 5 minutes. A 3.0 is a fast walk for me but I decided to try and and turn that fast walk into a jog and sure enough I did it! Not only did I do it, but I OWNED it!! Every minute after 5 I kept saying "one more" and I ended up at 10 minutes!!!  I even took recorded a video of this HUGE moment!  As I was going through that last minute, I pictured myself on the Biggest Loser and in a competition with my family and boyfriend watching me and it kept me going! I kept smiling because I felt so proud that I was finishing something I thought I could never do!  What a high!!!

Aside from this huge moment, I've had a lot of people tell me they can tell I lost weight and it really feels great! I do feel like I shouldn't take the credit because I have the band, but I put so much damn working into changing my life and I forget about that.  I buy specific foods, I look up recipes, I weigh and measure everything, I count calories, I exercise, I drink my water, and I consciously make the effort to make this band work for me because it is very easy to go back into old habits! I deserve the pat on the back honestly!  I do have to say, every time I see Brian he calls me a skinny minnie or something like that and it makes me feel so good! Hearing something like that from the person you love means so much more than hearing it from anyone else :)  Between him and my family... I'm golden :)

Lesson I've learned so far: that I can do things I always think I can't and if I don't try I'll always stay in the can't.